At least JENIFFER’S BODY is sexy
Jennifer’s Body answers a curious question: Can a film survive on the back of the attractiveness of its two female leads?
The answer is no.
But who am I to let some of the finest eye candy on the planet get in the way of a clunky, un-scary dark comedy horror film? This is Megan Fox, after all. Her name alone oozes sexy. There’s no denying Fox’s body is a draw-card here, and I bet the producer’s of Jennifer’s Body (including one Jason Reitman) wish that draw card had worked a little better at the box office. Domestically, Jennifer’s Body only barely doubled its 16 million dollar budget. I guess it will make about the same again on DVD/Blu-ray, rentals and television rights. You get to freeze-frame exactly where you like, then. In full 1080p high-def, no less.
Writer Diablo Cody struck gold that has come with somewhat unwarranted slack after winning an Academy Award for penning the indie sleeper hit Juno back in 2007. I’m not on the Juno-hater bandwagon, I quite enjoyed it. So it stood to reason that I might enjoy Cody merging her style of quirky comedy dialogue with my favorite genre of film (horror) plus Megan Fox to back it up (at least it was half-good casting. The lead of Jennifer really does need to be smokin’. Conveniently). Unfortunately the film flops far below expectations and stumbles horridly to an awkward finish to barely cross the line as acceptable. Don’t expect to add this one to your classic horror collection any time soon. If you have already, I understand. But I also recommend seeing more horror films.
I’d love to give points for originality, but so many elements of Jennifer’s Body have been tried, tested and failed elsewhere across the recent landscape of horror junk. I’m sure what director Karyn Kusama might have wanted to aim for was something to stand out and be remembered, but so much of Jennifer’s Body is cookie-cutter that all it might be remembered for is the hot lesbian kissing moment between stars Megan Fox and Amanda Seyfried. Oh, it’s hot alright. And completely irrelevant and pointless to the plot in every way. Which might make it even hotter. You be the judge.
How’s this for a wonky plot: Jennifer is possessed by a demon (or in this case the Devil himself…) after a lame, soft rock band sacrifice her to the Devil in exchange for ‘making it big’. But, duh! they’re supposed to sacrifice a virgin which, obviously, Jennifer is not. She’s a total slut. So, she survives because the demon/Devil now lives in her, and the only way she can feel (and look) good is to feed on teenage boys — who, of course, succumb to her every whim because she’s Megan-fucking-Fox. Naturally, only her bestest friend ever Needy (wonderfully played by Amanda Seyfried) does some research and figures out how to put an end to the madness. But not before more people die.
Jennifer’s Body presents itself as a sexy horror comedy romp yet doesn’t deliver enough of either to fully qualify itself as worthy. It’s sometimes a bit funny– but not hysterical. It’s in no way scary nor gory. I didn’t even find the obvious set-up jump-scares effective.
Once again the horror elements fall victim to lifeless, unrealistic CGI effects that more distract than add to the film. They look like something you might see on television after 1030PM, especially when you also consider that the horror elements are purposely cut to show as little as possible. It’s weak and feels like a cop out. We never get a really good, long look at Jennifer in her demon state, which is a shame because the concept appears to rather well conceived by KNB Effects Group. Perhaps the unrated version on DVD/Blu-ray offers more, but I haven’t seen that. I hope it does.
While there aren’t lingering shots of ghastly demon horror, there are lasting shots of Megan Fox frolicking in her underwear, sporting numerous spunk-worthy outfits and walking through the school halls looking like she doesn’t belong (being 20-something, and all). And in the end, I think that’s what Jennifer’s Body is really all about. The crumbling effects high school can have on a life-long friendship between two teenage girls who have to endure their bodies changing and boys. One handles it one way, the other fucks the boys, eats them and gets bloody messy in the process. Or maybe I’m way off.
Megan Fox is all over this film. Just about every sequence is cut to suit her center-frame, yet her performance is ironically pummeled to death by Amanda Seyfried’s portrayal of hard-done-by and confused best friend Anita ‘Needy’. Given the limited plot and arc here, Seyfried shows some great range and grounds her character into a convincing depth. She won’t win any awards for it, but as far as Jennifer’s Body goes, her performance is clearly the winning one. Plus she is equally attractive in her own way (some might say hotter than Fox in that girl-next-door kinda way). She even gets her own horny sex scene with geeky boyfriend Chip (Johnny Simmons) which is one more on-screen action than Jennifer gets. Go figure.
I honestly can’t say Jennifer’s Body is poorly executed. It gets by just fine– but unfortunately it is another example of a potentially good idea thrown into the stock-standard basket of achievements unreached. It’s only re-watchable for one very good reason, and I’m not ashamed to admit that it’s Megan Fox and her sleazy ways. Yes, it’s poorly performed, but hey– so is most porn. If only this took similar risks in horror and/or comedy (and perhaps even the sleaze?) I might have more to write about.
Jennifer’s Body69 out of 100
(see what I did there?)
