10 film trilogies with bad third chapters

10 film trilogies with bad third chapters

Mar 22

Sometimes it’s because the studio makes so much money they can’t resist developing another sequel. Sometimes it’s because the franchise creators always planned a three-act story arc. Sometimes the studio funnels funds into the hands of franchise creators who don’t really know how to build on their first film. Whatever the case, 3 is the magic number in Hollywood: trilogies have grown in popularity since the overwhelming success of the original Star Wars saga, bolstered by the compelling continuity of the Lord Of The Rings model. But unfortunately these classic models have left us with some less-than-awesome knock-off products, where the third film in the series should be the best, but ends up being the worst.

Here’s a list of the ten worst offenders, the offers which you can and should refuse.

10 - The Matrix

The Matrix was a pretty cool movie. It blended dystopian cyber-punk with off-the-wall kung-fu nonsense, and struck a chord with many a cynical viewer waiting for the twenty-first century to begin. The Matrix was way over-the-top, but it was a relatively restrained production when compared with its sequels. The Matrix Reloaded and Revolutions were shot back-to-back and released a year apart to keep people’s memories fresh, or something. Reloaded was flawed but still had its moments; Revolutions was just terrible. Everything — everything — was CGI. Main characters died for no good reason. That stupid fight scene in the rain where only one Smith fights Neo went forever and never really felt real or emotional. The prolonged robot attack on the human stronghold Zion was similarly endless and weightless. The first case in this list of directors given free reign and then screwing up their own franchise.

9 – Alien/s

Okay, the Alien films are technically no longer a trilogy, but for a while there they were just 3, and Alien 3 was an extremely disappointing follow-up to Ridley Scott’s and James Cameron’s classics. Where the first movie was personal and had the element of surprise in its advantage, and the second one utilised similar tactics to rollercoasters in order to elicit squeals of excitement from the audience, the third movie tried to go back to the personal tone of the first film, and failed miserably. Without the claustrophobic atmosphere and grim photography of the first flick, Alien 3 was a strange and unwelcome entry to the saga. Killing all survivors from Aliens but Ripley was probably a mistake as well, as was setting the film on a penal colony, not to mention the squeamish introduction of religious symbolism into the series. Let’s hope Ridley Scott’s 3D Alien prequel (never thought I’d type that phrase) doesn’t suffer the same fate.

8 - Back To The Future

Another case of the back-to-back double-whammy production, Back To The Future: Part 3 is the weakest of the three by far. The first movie was tight and clever and fresh, the second movie managed to retread the first and still not become boring, but the third one struck out on a limb and became uncomfortably dull. Giving Doc a love interest and sidelining series hero Marty McFly didn’t help the series, and neither did setting it in an unconvincing Old West town. Sure, flashes of wit and character are still there, but it feels so different in tone from the earlier flicks that it comes across as something of a disappointment.

7 – Pirates Of The Caribbean

The Curse Of The Black Pearl was a revelation, a truly fun and unique take on the perennially-popular pirate tales of yore. It made a star of Keira Knightley and introduced Johnny Depp to a whole new generation of love-sick tweens, kickstarted a potentially great franchise, and managed to be consistently entertaining and original in its execution. Not so its sequels. Like The Matrix flicks, the second one was still pretty good, with a few good set-pieces and amazing visual effects tempered by an overlong script and some flat characters. But the third, At World’s End, really dropped the ball. New characters came flying out of the woodwork, the plot became overly confusing, Orlando Bloom had nothing to do, sex symbol Jack Sparrow found himself stuck in some hideously boring fantasy la-la land, and all the wit, bravura and action of the first two movies appeared to have drifted out to sea. Let’s hope On Stranger Tides brings the series back on track.

6 – Spider-Man

As I discussed in the full Spider-Man 3 review, Sam Raimi did a massive backflip between the flat-out classic of Spider-Man 2 and the ho-hum melodrama of Spider-Man 3. Like a few other flicks on this list, the third instalment introduced too many characters, went on for too long, and became too melodramatic for its own good. I mean, seriously, three villains? In a single film? The audience’s credulity can’t be stretched like spider’s silk, Raimi. The 3D Spider-Man reboot (ugh!) will never replace the classic first two films in our hearts, but maybe it can erase the memory of the third one, which can’t possibly be a bad thing.

5 – X-Men

Words can hardly describe the sheer disappointment inherent in X-Men: The Last Stand. Series founder Bryan Singer departed after the sublime second flick to pursue the equally disappointing Superman Returns, leaving the X-Men reigns in the one man fans feared the most: Brett Ratner. I’m sure Ratner’s a nice guy, and I mean him no ill will, but seriously, how do you ruin such a promising franchise in one fell swoop? So many random, unnecessary characters were introduced, you killed the captain of the Enterprise for no good reason, you included the pictured battle of powers, which looks suspiciously like something out of an episode of Dragonball Z, and you managed to do the impossible: you made Wolverine unlikeable. The poor folk who couldn’t wait for X-Men: Origins: Wolverine: The Prequel: The Movie Of The Comic were equally disappointed by the latter film’s failure to approach the quality of the first two X-films, and I think it’s safe to say, with a heavy heart, that the X-Men films’ streak of quality ended with X-2.

4 – Terminator

As discussed in my review, Terminator 3 exists in a curious state of having no purpose. Terminator itself didn’t need a sequel, but nobody complained when James Cameron’s seminal robo-action thriller Terminator 2 inevitably did roll aorund. But then there’s T3, bereft of its iconic director, devoid of an interesting script or compelling performances — and even Arnie manages to fumble his classic character. Of course Terminator Salvation was even worse; at least T3 had that hilarious crane-smashes-through-everything-in-its-path chase scene, as well as Arnie’s entertaining performance. Maybe James Cameron will be so upset that he lost the Oscar he’ll be inspired to actually make good movies again, and return to the universe he helped create.

3 – Jurassic Park

Goodness gracious me, what a cinematic abomination Jurassic Park 3 was. From the classless inclusion of a numeral in the title to the appointment of Joe Johnston in the director’s chair to the vomit-inducing fight scene pictured above, nothing about this film rang true to its source material. Jurassic Park was a streamlined vision of Michael Crichton’s techno-thriller novel, and Spielberg managed at least to include some of the morality and science of the source material in his taut and frightening adaptation. The Lost World wasn’t exactly gold, but it was still fun, and it showcases one of Spielberg’s most nail-biting action scenes (I’m talking about the trailer-over-the-cliff bit, where you almost forget for a minute about the dinosaurs, only to be forcibly reminded in a terrifying way moments later).

Everything about JP3 was cheap and nasty. The script was full of holes an illiterate five-year-old could have spotted, the characters (and the actors chosen to play them) were extremely boring and out-of-place in the Jurassic universe, and the inclusion of the spinosaur as the new big bad villain caused a million eyes to roll around the world. Spinosaurus was a piscivore with weak jaws and an alarmingly slim build — everyone knows T-rex would’ve owned him any day of the week – sorry, geeked out there for a minute. Anyway, you can’t just throw away the franchise villain in favour of the strange-looking spinosaur. Bigger is not scarier. Also, raptors that can talk and have cute quills on their skulls? No wonder Spielberg barely showed up to set in his role as executive producer.

2 - Godfather

In its own strange way, the third installment to what are arguably the two greatest films ever made lived up to the overall theme of The Godfather Parts I & II: family. The Godfather Part III is the bastard son of the bunch. The ugly duckling. The useless degenerate nobody talks about and everybody wishes didn’t have the family name. Let’s face it, The Godfather should never have been a trilogy. Part II was such stellar work, still regarded today as one of the greatest sequels ever made. Both The Godfather and The Godfather Part II came out in the 1970s and collected prestigious Oscars (we’re talking Best Picture). Over a decade passed before Part III came to fruition and boy oh boy do we wish it never had.

The release caught us all off guard, too. Our defenses were down. Francis Ford Coppola was the man. Both Godfather films, Apocalypse Now. Even The Conversation has qualities people still discuss today. So the community was excited and highly anticipated what the man would do with a third installment of his mobster story. So much about The Godfather Part III is problematic it’s hard to sum it up in a few words. The acting is horrendously forced, the plot is untidy and the overall execution, from editing to blocking, is tired and sloppy. The Godfather Part III could’t hold up under the weight of the spectacular films that preceded it. It collapsed in spectacularly embarrassing fashion.

1 - Star Wars (original trilogy)

And here’s the worst offender, the head honcho of the Third Film Failure Club, The Return Of The Jedi. The first film of the saga was plagued with poor production values and a cast and crew who actively railed against the film’s production, but miraculously George Lucas persevered and delivered a stunning slab of imagination and escapism the likes of which the world hadn’t sampled since the classic Greek myths of yore. The Empire Strikes Back improved on Star Wars‘ formula by playing with the characters and universe in a compelling way. Empire is most people’s favourite Star Wars flick, and it wins this with its darker tone and more complex morality. The Return Of The Jedi seems like a reflexive push in a new, lame direction. For every shot of Leia in the slave bikini outfit, there was a shot like the one where the droids’ feet stick out of the desert sands like some horrible Looney Toons skit; the heavy and suitably dramatic final showdown between Luke, Vader and the Emperor — the culmination of six hours’ worth of drama — is emotionally engaging to this day, but it is undermined by the inclusion in the film of a certain species of sapient organism known as ewoks.

The ewoks are symbolic of Jedi’s problems in general: it appeared to be pandering to children. The relatively serious fantasy of the first two films is completely undermined by the inclusion of walking, talking teddy-bears, and the main featured planet of Jedi is too familiarly Earth-ish to be atmospheric like Tatooine, Hoth and Bespin (of the first two films). Plus Luke is no longer recognisable — his trials with Yoda appear to have turned him from a whiney but honest youth into a crushingly dull and characterless adult. This is no single person’s fault. Lucas stepped back after the debacle of shooting the first film, and let the reigns fall into the hands of other (superior) directors for the two sequels. Empire benefited from this separation, but Jedi suffered. Then again it could’ve been Lucas’ vision from the start to end his fantasy epic end on the planet of the teddy-bears, in which case everyone should have predicted earlier just how much the prequel trilogy would suck.

There you have it, our list of good-turned-bad trilogies is complete. Do you agree with these choices? Are there other trilogies you’d include in your own lists? Do you hate ewoks as much as me?