DIE HARD franchise refuses to die easily

DIE HARD franchise refuses to die easily

May 06

Die Hard is the perfect encapsulation of the 80s action movie: a wise-cracking macho American tough-guy squaring off against a slimy European smarty-pants, and dozens of his inept minions, in a confined space. It’s hard to imagine a time when movies like this didn’t exist — probably because I’m not old enough to remember.

Die Hard 4, or Live Free or Die Hard as it was amusingly dubbed by its makers, came out a few years ago, did some moderate business (almost $400 million), and now makes a living inhabiting the Action section of your local video store alongside its more respected forebears.

The reason Die Hard 4 didn’t catch on fire was that Bruce Willis appeared to be getting too old for this kind of shenanigans, and bringing in Justin Long and Timothy Olyphant didn’t really help to freshen or contemporise the outdated story-telling style in any meaningful way. Also Kevin Smith’s cameo was just plain silly.

Nevertheless, 20th Century Fox thinks you deserve another Die Hard film, and they’re even getting a bloke named Skip Woods to write the script for you, so you don’t have to. Who is this Skip Woods? you ask, and what has he done for me? Well, he wrote Hitman and X-Men: Origins: Wolverine: The Prequel To The Franchise: The Beginning: Part 1, both of which were, by any definition, godawful wastes of time, money and (possibly) talent. Oh, he also wrote the first draft of Swordfish, and is responsible for all the words in the upcoming A-Team script, too, if that changes your opinion at all.

No word yet on a release date or storyline, but expect the words “Yippe-ki-yay” and “Motherfucker” to appear at least once each, and probably in that order.

1 comment

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