PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN 4 teaser, featuring Johnny Depp sitting on a chair

PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN 4 teaser, featuring Johnny Depp sitting on a chair

Jul 27

Built deep into the core of this teaser is the main problem confronting the fourth Pirates flick, On Stranger Tides: on his own, as the sole focus of the picture, Jack Sparrow doesn’t work as well as he does as a side-character.

It’d be like making Star Wars all about Han Solo — it may sound cool, but ultimately,  focusing on the “shapeshifter” archetype doesn’t deliver the kind of satisfying narrative we’re used to; shapeshifters are designed to test, undermine, but ultimately help build our protagonists. They don’t function well as protagonists in their own right.

I found it hard not to cringe during this teaser, in which Johnny Depp tries valiantly to carry a weak and overlong skit, to varied results. Maybe it works a lot better in 3D, but somehow I doubt it.

Watch as he reels off all the popular memes — booze, maps, rum — without providing anything to hook our interest in the future (zombies? Again? Really?). And whose idea was it to break the fourth wall? If this is any indication of the level of respect they’re treating Jack Sparrow with nowadays, On Stranger Tides will be a grim affair indeed.

Something Of The Something: The Ensomethening is due on 20 May 2011, in 3D. It’s got zombies, mermaids, and Penelope Cruz.