Winter review round-up
Winter review round-up
Sep 01
Spring has apparently sprung, despite the rain forecast for the weekend and the still pretty-cold nights. That can only mean one thing: it’s time to look back over the past 3 months and take stock of what movies we saw, and whether or not we liked them very much.
As usual, this season was a bit of a mixed bag. Being the American summer, a lot of big cash cow flicks were released — Sex And The City 2, The A-Team, Twilight, Predators, Inception, etc. — and only some of them were good. I like our summer better. We get stuff like Tron Legacy and Harry Potter, and we used to get The Lord Of The Rings.
Anyway, let’s get down to it!
“Quite apart from being one of the most offensive products ever manufactured, Sex And The City 2 is also outrageously surreal to watch. It is so surreal, in fact, that if asked “what was it about?” a mere ten minutes after watching it, you may find yourself hitting a mental blank (probably caused by the violent brain haemorrhage induced by how stupid the movie was). Did I already mention how forgettable it is?”
“How did so many ‘A-list’ comedians assemble in one place and not realise their jokes were falling completely flat on a deadweight script?”
“There’s no rhyme or reason to any single thing Aldous Snow does — and he does some bafflingly strange things towards the end of the film — and the sheer otherness of the central character damages Greek almost beyond repair.”
“A vast improvement over the last installment in the series, but that isn’t saying much.”
Pandorum (While the film didn’t actually see a cinematic release here, I finally got around to watching the Blu-Ray in July, so it counts. Barely)
“Right from the start of Pandorum, I felt a creeping sense of déjà vu. As the film progressed, the sense grew stronger, and stronger, until it became an overriding axiom of truth in my brain: Pandorum is exactly like a video game, but with all the gameplay removed.”
“What made the remake harder to endure was the fact that, for whatever reason, they’ve taken those same beats and stretched them out to a challenging 140 minutes. Almost 2-and-a-half hours is a damn long time to wait for something you know is coming.”
“It’s all here. Big guns, big fights, big arms, square jaws, car chases, explosions, sexy ladies in distress and, of course, witty one-liners. There’s even a bad guy ‘monologing’ at the end to complete the package. It’s all been done before and there’s nothing revolutionary for The Expendables to hang its hat on.”
“A dark streak permeates the plot, an aspect that probably would have helped the film if it had stronger characters, but in reality serves to alienate the audience from what little good Splice has to offer.”
“When there’s parachuting tanks, stereotypically jaded-but-still-in-love ex-girlfriends, and some jerkish CIA types involved, you know the bulk of the audience’s focus is going to be on the action rather than the characters. Here The A-Team is something of a mixed bag.”
“I can’t believe it’s the same kid from Kick-Ass. I’m glad I saw Kick-Ass before I saw Nowhere Boy, because I think that comparison helped underline how spectacularly perfect his performance is.”
“The performances are all — miraculously for this type of film – passable at least, and great at best. Adrien Brody stands out, of course, but Laurence Fishburne’s Apocalypse Now-informed performance as a bloke who’s been on the wrong planet for too long is refreshingly fun to watch.”
“I must admit that I was hoping to laugh out loud more. Heck, I think the audience I saw it with– a mix of mothers, fathers teenagers and early-twenties couples, wanted to laugh more, too– but we never did.”
“It’s clear that director James Mangold is fluent in the language of cinema. He conducts the ballet between screen and speakers, actors and audience with startling precision.”
“Every shot, every cut, every sound effect and musical cue is distinctly Nolan-ish: the sound design is sharp and punchy, the visuals are moody and gorgeous, the music is as subtle as a brick and twice as threatening, and the performances are exemplary across the board. In fact, the only real problem here is the script.”
“Pilgrim’s strongest selling card is its humour, which, thankfully, isn’t content with the kind of geek jokes that make people like me roll their eyes.”
Today marks ReelThinker’s nine month anniversary. Incidentally, this is approximately the period of time required to cook a functioning human being the old-fashioned way. Probably not relevant, but worth mentioning anyway. Thanks for reading, and here’s to another 9 months!
For previous review round-ups, go here:
