Online movie buffs are divided over the new trailer for Transformers 3: Dark of the Moon, released today. Here’s what I gathered from the footage:

• The blurry mesh of metal will still be confusing and you won’t actually know what’s going on in any battle, nor who won, until they get a victorious close-up. In 3D.

• Transformers franchise officially joins the alien invasion/disaster movie ranks. For real, this time. In real 3D.

• I miss Megan Fox already.

• Monologuing. Lots and lots of monologuing. Optimus Prime is cool and all (at least, he was, in the 80s) but his meaningful words of wisdom are usually dull and are a brick-to-the-face for the audience members who can’t connect the damn dots.

• Rosie Huntington-Whiteley (the Megan Fox replacement) just stands around looking pretty and scared– but there’s a secret sub-plot in which she has contracted a virus that prevents her from ever closing her mouth completely shut. Maybe that’s how she got the part? I jest… but, seriously though.

• That image I had a sook about yesterday turns out to be a major part of the film. Our world will be almost destroyed by huge alien turd-bugs. In 3D.

• Despite Rise Of The Fallen being utter shit, this trailer is kinda epic and all the right people are getting excited, so Transformers 3 should still make a truckload of cash at the box office. The 3D had better be kick ass.

With glossy CGI, epic slow-motion battles and monologues-a-plenty, Immortals looks like a perfect follow-up to 300. No surprise, then, that it comes from the same producers. Looks fancy. I guess that’s all it’s aiming for. Fancy. Hmmm… “Fancy Immortals”. Somebody call marketing, I may be on to something!

And so it all comes to this. I don’t need to explain what this is and what’s going on, right? Bottom line, Warner Brothers make a lot of cash from July 15, no matter how epic and impressive that trailer is. Hell, even I’m gonna go see this one.

From the franchise that was first to get the new breed of comic book movies right comes a rather impressive trailer for the upcoming X-Men: First Class. Even though it relies on the viewer having an understanding of who these characters are (I really have no idea or interest here, so I didn’t go ‘whoa! cool!’ at the opening titles and fade-in-out-in-out faces) the epic scale of the trailer is evident and it builds rather well. It’s also obvious that the visual effects have been well-concentrated and don’t seem over-the-top. Maybe a superhero comic book movie worth a chance?

Can someone explain to me why anyone outside of comic book fans and those who swoon over Ryan Reynolds would give a flying shit about Green Lantern? It truly does look fucking horrendous, as this new TV spot further proves.

The Hangover-for-ladies comedy Bridesmaids has a new redband trailer full of swear words and sexual advances for anyone who wasn’t entirely convinced the first time. The film hits screens in May. Expect to find it on you neighbor’s all-time-best comedies by the end of the year.

This cast list proves why it’s worth getting ‘names’ attached to a project, because I may not have given this surprisingly funny trailer for Our Idiot Brother a second glance without them: Paul Rudd, Elizabeth Banks, Zooey Deschanel, Emily Mortimer, Steve Coogan, Hugh Dancy, Kathryn Hahn, Rashida Jones, Adam Scott.