10 sports movies I am watching instead of the FIFA World Cup
Jul 05
So, the FIFA World Cup 2010 is on, and while Australia’s Socceroos crumbled to yet another dismal early-exit from the tournament, I’ve decided to re-watch some of my favourite sporting movies instead of enduring what remains of the event. After all, the running time for a lot of films is pretty close to a single game of soccer. I might just tune in to the final.
Note: I’m not saying these are the greatest sporting movies of all time. They are films from my collection that I’ve been watching while the World Cup is on, since I’m not much of a soccer fan but the hype has put me in a sporty mood. If there’s a sports movie you enjoy, please leave a comment below (or nag me on facebook like everyone else).
#10 THE KARATE KID (1984)
Forget the recent remake with Will Smith’s kid and Chackie Chan, the 1984 original will always stand as the first martial arts film to break into the children’s market. Wax on, wax off! Daniel Larusso coming to terms with his new town and bonding with Mr. Miyagi, whooping that gangs ass after they beat him up on the beach (oh, spoilers, by the way…). The Karate Kid has actually gotten better with age, the retro style adds a timeless quality that most films lack when they age so quickly. My kids will be seeing this, and they will always understand that, as a 6 year old boy, this movie meant a great deal to their Daddy. That little bastard on the playground never picked on me again the day after I saw this…
#9 HAPPY GILMORE (1996)
Please bear with me… I saw this as a teenager and, at the time, it was the funniest thing on the planet. Of course, now I’ve matured past the humour of it, but the nostalgia still remains when I put it on. Adam Sandler as a no-good hockey player whooping Shooter McGavin’s ass on a golf course? Timeless. Who hasn’t tried the Gilmore Shot when playing golf with their buddies? This film sprung to mind because I find myself partly quoting this flick whenever I try to watch soccer: “Get in the net, baaalll!”
#8 CADDYSHACK (1980)
If I’m going to watch Happy Gilmore, I’ll need to watch Caddyshack right afterwards to wash the taste out. Bill Murray, Chevy Chase and a gopher on a golf course. This will always be a classic.
#7 SLAPSHOT (1977)
Wonderful things happen when you put Paul Newman in a hockey jersey and let him swear a whole bunch. Still the best ice hockey film ever made, you’ll find this on any of those ‘proper’ best sports movies lists and with good reason. Helps that I adore ice hockey, a sport that, like soccer, usually results in only a few goals per game, but at least you can smack the shit out of your opponent in the process.
#6 COOL RUNNINGS (1993)
John Candy, how I miss your delightful humour. Remember, kids, your bones do not break in a bobsled. No, no. They shatter. Would you believe I only discovered recently that Cool Runnings is based on the true story of the Jamican bobslead team qualifying for the Winter Olympic Games? I mean, I was 12, how was I supposed to know? I always thought it was just a super-clever original premise. Anyway, this Disney classic hasn’t aged well at all, but nothing beats that delicious early-90s nostalgia.
#5 THE WRESTLER (2008)
The return to form for Mickey Rourke snagged him a Golden Globe for Best Actor (he was robbed at the Oscars) and put one of the most controversial ’sports’ back under the spotlight for a brief moment. Yeah, I consider it a sport. The stuff these guys can achieve in the ring is (sometimes) staggering, and this film wonderfully illustrates how much they go through to entertain their huge fan-base. Tell you what, you go and tell one of these beefy blokes in person that what they do isn’t real, and if you can still speak coherently afterwards, I’ll listen to your side of the argument.
#4 FIELD OF DREAMS (1989)
Lads, don’t watch this one with your Father. I had no intention of seeing this (baseball AND Kevin Costner? No thanks…) until my wife enforced it with one of those embargos where I had no choice. Sorta maybe had me a little sooky toward the end there… Let’s just leave it at that.
#3 ROCKY (1976)
Not just for the thumping music, inspiring journey and slurring Sly, but also for the screenplay. Rocky is an independent film that is pure legendary. People are often surprised when I remind them Rocky won the Oscar for Best Picture that year… might have something to do with all of those average sequels that blurs their appreciation. Still, any budding screenwriters out there who need a good template and an inspirational story to keep them going, remember Sly wrote the script in a matter of days and it landed him an Oscar nod.
#2 JERRY MAGUIRE (1996)
Cameron Crowe’s would-be romantic comedy Jerry Maguire is easily forgotten as a sports film. It coined one of the most repeated and mocked lovey-dovey quotes of the past two decades: “You had me at ‘hello’.” whimpers a tearful Renée Zellweger to a desperate Tom Cruise (who wasn’t quite completely nuts yet). There’s also the aged classic “Show me the money!!” which Tom screams down the phone in an effort to sign Rod Tidwell, a role which won Cuber Gooding Jr. an Oscar for Best Supporting Actor. The less said about his career after that night, the better. It’s the corporate backstabbing and eventual success of Tidwell that keeps me coming back to this one.
#1 RAGING BULL (1980)
Beyond being a great sports movie, Raging Bull is a brilliant film that stands above many others. Robert De Niro and Joe Pesci up-front and Martin Scorsese behind the camera, the cinema lessons learned from watching this classic boxing film about Jake La Motta are endless. Unfortunately, watching Scorsese’s directorial brilliance in Raging Bull now also serves as a reminder to just how horrible Shutter Island actually is. I guess you really can’t win ‘em all.
Johnny Depp does something, everyone pays attention: PIRATES 4 set pics
Jul 03
That’s right, Pirates Of The Caribbean: On Stranger Tides is filming right now. Well maybe not right now; today’s a Saturday. Depends on their schedule — do they do 6-day weeks at Disney or do they shoot Monday – Friday? Who knows.
Anyway, check out these photos of Johnny Depp chillin’ with some dudes on a log, and asking whether he’s allowed to go pee in the ocean, respectively:
Yep, looks like they’re hard at work bringing you the next installment in one of the biggest film franchises of all time. Also, where can I get one of those boom-stands? It looks outrageously convenient.
Pirates 4 (or, if you accidentally hold shift, Pirates $) is due in May 2011, and will be in 3D, etc.
You’ve got a friend in me: TOY STORY 3 review
Jun 25
Toy Story 3 is simply another Pixar movie. Which means it’s so undeniably enjoyable that, regardless of flaws, attempting to be critical of it for the pure sake of going against the grain would be nothing more than posturing. Toy Story 3 is one of the best releases of the year– and that’s without delving into technical stuff like the quality of the animation (brilliant) or the seamlessness of the 3D (tolerable).
Unlike a lot of people, I’m not a Pixar enthusiast. Fortunately, thanks to my oldest son (almost three years old), I’m privy to round-the-clock screenings of Pixar’s entire catalogue on my living room television. Toy Story 1 & 2, Monsters Inc. and Cars get the highest rotation, so I’m very familiar with Buzz, Woody and the gang from Andy’s bedroom. I’m also familiar with how brilliant Pixar can be at executing engaging characters and plot. I still see things I hadn’t noticed before when I catch various scenes from Toy Story, proof of a hard working studio that takes time to carefully craft their films to the finest detail.
In our house, Woody has breakfast with my boy every morning; he has his own special chair, propped-up right next to the lad. Buzz spends the majority of the afternoon being flown around the house and crashing into LEGO buildings (or the lad’s younger brother’s head… whichever is closer). Buzz and Woody also meet-and-greet the Cars toys and go on adventures in our backyard, bedrooms and sand-pit, all in the tight grip of my imaginative boy. Those toys mean the world to him. Thanks to 1995′s first ground-breaking Toy Story, this fifteen-year-old sequel in the making now smacks of incredible resemblance to real life.
Following a dramatic, action-packed opening sequence direct from young Andy’s imagination, Toy Story 3 shows Andy playing with Buzz and Woody on old home videotaped movies. It reminded me exactly of how my boy plays with them right now. There’s something comforting, and yet very eeerie about that.
It was always going to be a safe bet for Pixar and Disney: Characters we already know and love, and, in many cases, have grown up with, returning to the screen one last time for a fitting farewell. All of it is tied together nicely by Randy Newman’s timeless song You’ve Got A Friend In Me, and a final shot that cranes to the clouds which resemble Andy’s oginal bedroom wallpaper.
Thankfully, Pixar acknowledged how much time has passed since the first film and kept the timeline relative. Andy is now 17 and heading off to college, so the toys we know and love find themselves at Sunnyside, the local day care centre where they hoped to be played with by kids every day. Needless to say, it isn’t exactly what they had in mind and adventure ensues.
Much of the plot felt a lot like Toy Story 2 because similar tools were used, like misunderstanding Woody’s good intentions and Buzz not realizing he’s actually just a toy. I was looking forward to seeing Buzz as a ‘grown’ toy, one who understood the world he existed in and stood a leader alongside Woody, making decisions for the group and taking charge. Despite showing promise, this is squashed pretty early to allow for more comedic freedom, which is a shame, because the return to the old-school Buzz (“return of the Astro Nut”, remarks Ham) becomes even more repetitive when you spread it over three films.
I must admit that I was hoping to laugh out loud more. Heck, I think the audience I saw it with– a mix of mothers, fathers teenagers and early-twenties couples, wanted to laugh more, too– but we never did. There was a strange ambience across our cinema that kept jokes to a light chuckle, that little vocal acknowledgement you make when something was worth the effort, deserves your recognition for being mildly entertaining, but did not warrant an uncontrollable bursts of laughter. I wanted that burst of laughter, I was waiting for it, and it never came. Thankfully I didn’t have to squirm in my chair and wonder when the film would move along and wrap-up because Pixar have perfected their precision packaging– the film fires out at a perfect 103 minutes. Superb.
The flip-side to the plot and character familiarities is Ken and Barbie’s love-at-first sight relationship. It was a refreshing sprite for a premise that might have gotten stale without them. Wonderfully voiced by Michael Keaton, Ken provided the most entertaining breakout moments of Toy Story 3 with his eccentric personality, his on-again off-again relationship with Barbie and dealing with the difficult task of being a girl’s accessory.
Despite being a film about toys that come to life and avoid being seen by humans, there’s only so far the plot can go– only so far the adventure can lead– before it becomes questionable. I felt like the limit had been reached when the toys found themselves facing a fiery hell-hole demise. Seriously. It’s an entire world away from Andy’s bedroom and the neighbour’s backyard, Al’s Toy Barn or even the Sunnyside Day Care. By the time the dramatic finish to their now-third epic adventure reached its conclusion, the distance had been maxed out. Both dramatically and geographically, Pixar couldn’t have taken it much further.
I was impressed, however, by the decision to not completely humanize the human characters in the film, despite the technology being available to do so. Keeping Andy and other supporting characters looking the same as they did in the original Toy Story ensured the world audiences are familiar with remained in tact.
While Toy Story 2 came to a celebratory ending that resembled a happy get-together, Toy Story 3 underlines in red and puts a huge full stop on the fact that this is, in all likelihood, the last Toy Story film. The way the arc of this film (and the entire series) comes to a heart-warming close will make even the burliest man choke back a little.
I’m glad the credits ran for a little while so I could compose myself behind my silly fucking 3D glasses and appear like it didn’t affect me at all. But it did. It made me think of my boys and how they’re growing up with the very same Woody and Buzz toys. And how, in what should be the final chapter, this film acknowledges its own toy characters by handing them over and letting them go. One day, our kids– or maybe even you– will have to do the same. And when that day comes, I guarantee you’ll think of the last five minutes of Toy Story 3.
TOY STORY 3
PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: ON STRANGER TIDES’ plot synopsis is shockingly unoriginal
Jun 23
Johnny Depp + 3D = $500 million dollars. That’s the only thing on Disney’s mind right now. Johnny Depp + 3D + interesting storyline = $500 million dollars + loyal fans doesn’t seem to have crossed their mind.
In this action-packed tale of truth, betrayal, youth and demise, Captain Jack Sparrow crosses paths with a woman from his past (Penelope Cruz), and he’s not sure if it’s love–or if she’s a ruthless con artist who’s using him to find the fabled Fountain of Youth. When she forces him aboard the Queen Anne’s Revenge, the ship of the formidable pirate Blackbeard (Ian McShane), Jack finds himself on an unexpected adventure in which he doesn’t know who to fear more: Blackbeard or the woman from his past.
Let’s break that synopsis down, shall we?
- “Action-packed”: the first Pirates trilogy was nearly sunk under spiralling-out-of-control action set-pieces.
- “Truth, betrayal, youth and demise”: in the original Pirates flicks, Jack Sparrow was the one likely to lie and back-stab his way out of a precarious situation. Turning the tables on this double-dealer might sound good on paper, but it might not make for resonant character development on screen.
- “A woman from his past (Penelope Cruz)”: they will fall in love before the end.
- “Not sure if it’s love”: they will fall in love before the end.
- “Fountain of Youth”: they will fall in love before the end, and Jack Sparrow will probably become immortal, while Penelope Cruz’ character will probably wind up dead and / or estranged.
- “Formidable pirate Blackbeard”: it took something like a million bullets and eight thousand swords to kill Blackbeard in real life. He probably gets his hands on the Fountain of Youth before the end.
- “Ian McShane”: a ray of sunshine in an otherwise bleak synopsis.
- “Unexpected adventure”: Jack Sparrow must suffer catastrophic short-term memory failure if he doesn’t ever expect adventure.
- “Woman from his past”: they will fall in love before the end.
I’m getting thoroughly sick of the Han Solo / Leia Organa style of romantic subplot, with the back-and-forth banter and the scoundrel / princess character archetypes. I saw it most recently in Clash Of The Titans and Prince Of Persia, not to mention in the catatonic writing in video games like Uncharted: Drake’s Fortune; it seems like On Stranger Tides is aiming for the same type of subplot.
The reason that romance plot worked in Star Wars was because a) it hadn’t been done to death in mainstream cinema yet, b) Han and Leia were discrete characters introduced in A New Hope whose romance didn’t blossom until later in the series, and c) because both characters initially denied their attraction to each other. Inventing characters purely to fill the shoes of the Han / Leia archetype smacks of lazy character design and derivative plotting.
Oh wait, we’re talking about Disney, aren’t we? That’s par for the course, then.
Peruse the full On Stranger Tides press release over at Slash, but be warned, it’s a slab of text nearly as long as my arm, with about as much interesting information as you’d fit on the average film ticket (i.e., Johnny Depp + 3D, 20 May 2011).
By all means, ruin my childhood: THE LION KING undergoing 3D conversion
Jun 23
I haven’t watched The Lion King since I was a wee grasshopper, sometime in the early-mid 1990s. I don’t really want to watch it again any time soon, either — perhaps I’ll give it a spin when / if I have kids, or when I feel a particularly strong urge to indulge in some hard-hitting nostalgia.
Being that I watched The Lion King when I was a kid, I don’t even know if it’s a “good movie.” I loved it at the time, but who knows if I wasn’t just amused by the flashy colours and jaunty musical numbers, rather than the engaging narrative, the beating heart of the story?
Anyway, now we hear that Disney’s planning to re-release The Lion King in 3D. Thankfully it won’t happen any time soon, but it begs the question: why remix a 2D animated film into a 3D animated film? Part of the charm of watching these smug-looking lions struggle to resolve their leadership woes is that it’s a cartoon: fluid, easy on the eyes, with strong lines and rich colour.
Squeezing all that through a 3D ringer won’t have the same effect. It’ll hurt my eyes to watch The Lion King. The painterly landscapes will be ruined by the addition of an extra dimension. The lions’ smug grins will be right up in my face. I don’t want any of these things.
I want to be able to introduce The Lion King to my offspring the way it was introduced to me — animated in 2D. Now every time The Lion King comes up in conversation my prospective children will roll their eyes and have to sit through daddy’s explanation of his version, when everybody knows The Lion King has always been in 3D.
Congratulations, Disney, you’ve simultaneously subverted my own childhood while pre-emptively derailing that of my future children.
(Beauty And The Beast is also undergoing the same unwholesome treatment; expect it to hit 3D cinemas in 2011)
OPINIONS COUNT