New poster for the next Megan Fox movie features JONAH HEX
Apr 28
Megan Fox will play a prostitute, wear busty tight dresses and carry small guns (is she compensating for something?) in her new film which also stars Josh Brolin and Jon Malkovich, called Jonah Hex. If you’re like me and don’t read comic books (this is another comic book/graphic novel adaptation) you’re probably also wondering ‘who the fuck is Jonah Hex?’ For both our sakes I’ll paste the synopsis below.
Otherwise, check out the new poster from Warner Brothers promoting the film which interestingly, perhaps in an attempt to look more important than it is, doesn’t give Malkovich or Fox billing at all– just Brolin. The design looks standard Warner Brothers, this could easily be a Harry Potter poster if you didn’t look close enough. Or read the title.
Jonah Hex is out June 18 in the States, meaning fellow Aussies will have plenty of time to read bad reviews, download the torrent or watch it online as we have to wait until August 12 before it reaches our cinemas. Yet we’re getting Iron Man 2 three days earlier. Go figure.
Having cheated death, gunslinger and bounty hunter Jonah Hex (Josh Brolin) has one foot in the natural world and one in the supernatural realm. Jonah’s unusual nature gives him the ability to track down anyone, or anything, so the Army makes him an irresistible offer: They’ll erase the warrants on his head if Jonah will find Quentin Turnbull (John Malkovich). But Turnbull, who is preparing to unleash hell on earth, is Jonah’s oldest enemy and will stop at nothing to kill him once and for all.
High hopes for A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET reboot
Apr 26
When I think of 80s cinema two things in particular come to mind: science fiction, and adventure films. Indiana Jones, Star Wars, Back To The Future, The Thing, Blade Runner — these are the classics that spring to mind. What I don’t usually think of is the horror franchises spawned in the 80s, like the Friday The 13th and A Nightmare On Elm Street or Halloween flicks. I’ve never seen any of them, to be honest — I’m not sure why, but horror as a genre has never really rung my bell.
In fact, the only Friday The 13th film I’ve ever seen was last year’s Platinum Dunes’ reboot — and it was one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen. Ditto the Halloween reboot — I pressed “Stop” halfway through, with every intention of returning to the DVD after a grilled cheese sandwich, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it, like the grilled cheese sandwich was a reminder of all the things I could be doing with my life instead of watching this dross.
So when the new A Nightmare On Elm Street trailer unspooled before my viewing of Hot Tub Time Machine last week, I was pleasantly surprised. Having never seen a Nightmare film before, the whole he-gets-you-in-your-dreams thing is actually new and scary to me, and the trailer manages to squeeze small amounts of style into its frames, which doubly impressed me after the lacklustre Friday and Halloween remakes.
Sure, it’s still got teens in peril and it advertises Michael Bay’s involvement like it’s not a bad thing — maybe I’m being overly optimistic here but I reckon this could be the film to break the horror dry spell we’ve been stuck in ever since since torture porn became popular. See for yourself, trailer embedded below.
Apparently, reboot director Samuel Bayer refused to shoot or convert A Nightmare On Elm Street into 3D, resisting direct pressure from Platinum Dunes parent New Line Cinema in the process. Good for him — it’s nice to see filmmakers stick to their guns and avoid another Clash Of The Titans conversion debacle.
This is the first time I’ve enjoyed the trailer to a horror film for — well, as long as I can remember. I hope I don’t end up eating my words when the film’s released.
Nightmare hits US screens on the 30th of this month, while the Aussie release date has been pushed back to the 20th of May (you know, to avoid that little movie you may have heard of, called Iron Man 2); UK release slated for the 7th of May 2010
Ah, crap: Joss Whedon’s doing something again
Apr 16
Just when I thought Joss Whedon would go back to TV forever and leave us cinephiles alone, here he comes to potentially ruin another few promising franchises. The purveyor of all things smug and sarcastic, Whedon has been called in to rewrite the Captain America and Avengers scripts. This comes hot on the heels of the news that he would be directing The Avengers, and makes sense, I suppose, as Whedon’s known more for his writing than for his ability to stage a good scene.
It’s no secret that I don’t like Joss Whedon’s work, so hearing that he’s practically taking over Marvel for the next couple of years is disheartening indeed. I mean, come on, Kenneth Branagh is directing Thor, and he’s all like, a Shakespearean actor, and stuff. Then there’s Joe Johnston directing Captain America, who’s at least an established, if mediocre, director. The franchises seemed to be doing okay on their own.
Enter Joss Whedon, whose greatest moment in film came in 1995 when he scored a writing credit on animated smash Toy Story. Ever since then he’s been running a series of increasingly lame TV shows, frum Buffy The Vampire Slayer through Firefly to Dollhouse, of which I’m happy to say I’ve never caught a second’s footage. There’s something about Whedon’s smarmy, sarcastic, American dialogue that really rubs me the wrong way with a cheese grater, and no amount of spluttering about how aweseme Firefly is can dissuade me of that opinion.
I’m hoping Whedon will somehow manage not to irrevocably ruin characters like Captain America, Thor, Hulk and Iron Man for everyone, because I rather like a spot of superhero biffo. But don’t forget that Whedon’s name is also on the writing credits for Alien Resurrection, which was awful (due mostly, but not entirely, to the weakness of the script). Only time will tell just what damage Whedon does to Marvel’s budding franchises.
Oh, and the internet is buzzing on this so it’s worth noting that Captain America’s girlfriend / love interest Peggy Carter will be played by some British lass by the name of Hayley Atwell (pictured below). Never seen The Duchess or Brideshead Revisited so I’m unqualified to pass judgment on her acting skills, but I can confidently assure you her staring-off-into-the-distance-while-revealing-some-cleavage skills are worthy of the tasks likely to be set for her as a female Marvel character.
Captain America rolls this winter (Northern summer) for a 22nd of June 2011 release; The Avengers due on the 4th of May 2012
Q: Why was I LOVE YOU PHILLIP MORRIS’ release indefinitely delayed?
Apr 12
A: Homophobia. Probably. I’m just guessing.
A movie in which Jim Carrey falls in love with and shares several intimate scenes with Ewan McGregor, written and directed by the writers of the deliciously black Bad Santa, should have enough box-office draw to warrant a serious release, but we’ve just been informed that Consolidated Pictures Group, the film’s distributors, have backed out at the last minute and left Phillip Morris in limbo. Why?
Well, America’s serious blockbuster season is mere weeks away from revving up; we’ve already had Clash Of The Titans, and with Iron Man 2 just weeks away it could be that CPG didn’t want to have their smaller film compete against the bigger, marketing-blitzed ones. That’s pretty silly, because the market that goes to smaller indie flicks goes to see smaller indie flicks regardless of when they’re released. They’re what’s called loyal, and intelligent, and they know they’ve probably got limited time to see smaller films like this, so they can just wait a month and then go see Iron Man 2, it’s not like the movie will be better in its first few days of release than later on down the track.
The most probable answer is that the distributor just got cold feet about releasing a mainstream movie about homosexuality, especially in the lead-up to the testosterone-fueled summer blockbuster season. People should be looking past the nature of the relationship and looking at I Love You Phillip Morris for what it is: a black romantic comedy about a con man and the fellow he falls in love with while in prison. It’s got a pair of fine actors in it, and an original, refreshing premise, but I guess the world (read: conservative America) isn’t ready for a movie about gay people.
Remember what happened when Brokeback Mountain and Milk came out? How they were picketed and rallied against and totally ripped apart at every opportunity — oh wait, didn’t they both go bananas come awards season? Hmph.
Maybe if the two main characters were replaced with Jessica Biel and Scarlett Johanssen you’d go see this movie, you backwards misogynist humbugs, you.
IRON MAN 2 viral advertising is lost on me
Apr 09
Not literally lost, of course. I get it– I understand how viral marketing works and there’s no doubting it certainly has a very fad place in movies right now. Of course, Hollywood has borrowed heavily from the music industry which has been successfully promoting underground/garage/indie bands for decades using similar viral ‘tactics’.
Viral marketing has been a successful way for studios to bring their indie festival purchases to larger audiences. Most recently Paranormal Activity achieved great heights using viral marketing which somewhat mirrored the horror film many consider to be the first online virally-marketed film, The Blair With Project. And who could deny Warner Brothers masterful viral promotions for The Dark Knight back in 2007/8. That sure paid off! So, I understand that studios feel the need to expose that area of marketing and ensure they net as many people as possible. Yet there are times when that kind of marketing just isn’t necessary.
Incredibly important picture of Scarlett Johansson
The viral campaign for Iron Man 2 has been surprisingly dull and increasingly irrelevant. A different term for this kind of viral marketing should be coined– I believe it’s no longer ‘viral’ once the film is a guaranteed summer blockbuster studio tent-pole film.
Iron Man 2 has a mass audience that is already guaranteed to go see it, viral marketing or not. I know this, because I’m one of those people. The Stark Industry website, the fake Stark Expo and the new videos have missed their mark with me. I’ve found most people are already talking about the film because of the trailer, the poster, Scarlett Johansson, Mickey Rourke’s Whiplash character, and (to a lesser extent) the TV spots… The swing of promotion is so great that it seems the only people really noticing (and giving a fuck) about the viral are the comic book addicts who, at the height of it all, have determined they noticed what looks like possibly the Avengers logo during a commercial for Stark Enterprises… others say it looks like Fantastic 4‘s logo and should go. I say… really?
As if to underline my point, adding to the pointlessness of it all, those debating such trivial things are already going to see Iron Man 2 opening weekend, without question. So who, exactly, is benefiting from all of this viral guff? Who’s going to see it, put two-and-two together and decide, shit yes, I’m going to see Iron Man 2 when it opens. Who’s is convinced by the Stark Expo yet not by the trailer…? I’m honestly asking, I have no idea.
View the official viral website for Stark Expo which coincides with the release date of Iron Man 2 (29 April Down Under, 30 April in the UK and 7 May in The States).
OPINIONS COUNT