COP OUT pays homage, misfires
Mar 19
How often can someone let you down before you just plain give up on them? Kevin Smith, I get you, brother. I dig the way you go about your business, speak your mind and eat whatever you fucking well want, but goddamn it, you can make it hard to be a fan of yours sometimes. I’ve done so well to not name this review with a predictably clever swipe at the title Cop Out. It wasn’t all that bad. Yet I feel like I’ve been let down… like you didn’t keep your end of the bargain, sir.
Kevin Smith tries to so the right thing– he sets up Cop Out‘s themes and intentions from the beginning. The very opening shot is supported with a synthetic-pop tune like something straight out the 80s (actually scored by old-school action film composer Harold Faltermeyer). Jimmy (Bruce Willis) and Paul (Tracy Morgan) walk in slow motion through the police precinct hallways. Neat. In the opening dialogue they argue about who gets to go behind the glass and play ‘bad guy’. Claiming his stake as an actor, Tracy feels he’s paying homage when he quotes famous movie lines as part of his interrogation. Bruce corrects him on his pronunciation of ‘homage’… and there we have it. Cop Out is set up: an homage to 80s action buddy cop movies. I only wish this was underlined a little better throughout the film. Cop Out fails the stick to its guns and fully deliver on the promise of the premise: action, comedy and swearing. Starring Bruce fucking Willis.
I should mention that it was the films Clerks (1994) and Chasing Amy (1997) that made me a Kevin Smith fan. These two titles stand out from the others in his filmography as gritty, honest works of film. The other Kevin Smith films, unfortunately, play more like movies. I prefer films, but there’s nothing wrong with a fun action-packed movie. Cop Out is a movie. A popcorn movie. A big-studio popcorn movie, in fact. It’s Kevin Smith’s biggest opening weekend and highest grossing film to date, and it’s a shambles.
The plot is lifted from the buddy cop movie rule book. There was the witty banter, the surrendering of the gun and badge, the other two cops that are equally witty and smug, the ethnic bad guys with subtitles and evil music, the annoying tag-along guy (in this case, Sean William Scott). The bad guys had horrible aim while the good guys never missed. Their cars went faster and their jokes were always timely (even the unfunny ones). All the ladies were sexy and skimpy (Rashida Jones was a goddamn joy in her limited scenes). It’s all here, it all felt very conventional.
So, the point of a homage, I thought, was to honor the genre you’re working within while bringing something new to the table. Cop Out didn’t do this. It was a pure copy-and-paste effort with little or no redeeming qualities. About the only thing new and revolutionary was how much Kevin Smith moved the camera compared to his previous movies. As far as the genre goes, it slipped ass-up and landed with a heavy thud of embarrassment.
You’d think it would take some real balls to sit in a scene with Bruce Willis and take charge. Not many people can say they performed next to Bruce and actually stole the scene, but I believe Earl himself Jason Lee can absolutely say he has done just that. Playing stuffy, smug Husband Number 2, Lee appears to be the only person who actually gets to sink his teeth into some actual character and bring something other than his usual to the screen. Everyone else, Bruce Willis, Kevin Pollack, Tracy Morgan, Sean William Scott, all played variations of things they already do, and never appeared to leave their comfort zones. Which makes sense, perhaps– but was hardly interesting to watch.
I really didn’t want to rag on this movie. I’ve been looking forward to it for a long time and Kevin Smith deserves all the winnings he can muster. The red band trailer had me plenty excited when it was released and went a long way to restoring my faith. We’ve had to wait an extra few weeks for the Australian theatrical release, and I was there today – first session, cinema 1. It was half full. Three people walked out before the second got underway. If you’ve seen that red band trailer, you’ve seen at least 80% of the good stuff. Yeah, one of those. I still can’t decide if it’s sorry I feel for Kevin Smith, or disappointment.
Having awarded the movie with a few chuckles I was expecting the third act to hit hard and deliver a thrill or two. It didn’t. The film stumbled over its own pacing and ground itself into a rut with a conclusion that belongs on a television cop show rather than a cinema screen. I have a feeling that, twelve months from now, Cop Out will play well to TV audiences who didn’t bother.
I knew the entire film had misfired when, in the closing sequence, I felt more tense about whether or not Bruce Willis would give his daughter away at her wedding than I did when he was being shot at.
COP OUT
48/100
Red band COP OUT trailer restores faith
Feb 06
By default, I’m supposed to look forward to a new Kevin Smith film. As regulars may know, I have a soft spot for the director, despite fair criticisms and past blunders (Jersey Girl, Clerks II), I cannot deny what an inspiration Kevin Smith is. I’ve been a fan since Chasing Amy (1997) and am always impressed by his public appearances and his simple yet effective filmmaking approach.
I was crushed with disappointment when I saw the original trailer for Cop Out, Smith’s upcoming buddy-cop vehicle which marks his first feature directorial effort that he hasn’t written. I found it insipid and unfunny, which was a huge let-down. Kevin Smith directing Bruce Willis and Tracey Morgan in a buddy-cop comedy… what could possibly go wrong?
Thank heavens this recently released follow-up red-band trailer knocks the original trailer for six and actually creates an exciting tone for the film. I reckon I’d be lining up to see Cop Out even if Smith weren’t involved. What’s especially surprising is how the trailer made me laugh out loud when I was extremely sceptical going in. It had a lot of work to do in order to sway me from uninterested all the way to excited again, and to my surprise, it did.
I was going to see Cop Out regardless. I’m obligated, as a Kevin Smith mark, to see anything he makes, so the idea of it being a terrible waste of time (and money) was not sitting well with me. Thankfully my faith is restored.
Cop Out hits our screens 25 February 2010.
Here’s the official write-up from Warner Brothers:
Directed by Kevin Smith (“Zack and Miri Make a Porno”), “Cop Out” features two longtime NYPD partners on the trail of a stolen, rare, mint-condition baseball card who find themselves up against a merciless, memorabilia-obsessed gangster. Jimmy (Bruce Willis) is the veteran detective whose missing collectible is his only hope to pay for his daughter’s upcoming wedding, and Paul (Tracy Morgan) is his “partner-against-crime” whose preoccupation with his wife’s alleged infidelity makes it hard for him to keep his eye on the ball.
Kevin Smith directs “Cop Out” from a screenplay by Robb Cullen & Mark Cullen (TV’s “Las Vegas”). The film stars Bruce Willis (the “Die Hard” films), Tracy Morgan (TV’s “30 Rock”), Adam Brody (“Mr. & Mrs. Smith”), Kevin Pollak (“Tropic Thunder”), Guillermo Diaz (TV’s “Weeds”) and Seann William Scott (“Role Models”).
The film is produced by Marc Platt (“Rachel Getting Married”), Polly Johnsen (upcoming “Cats and Dogs: Revenge of Kitty Galore”) and Michael Tadross (“I Am Legend,” “Hitch”). Adam Siegel (“Wanted”), Robb Cullen and Mark Cullen serve as executive producers.
The behind-the-scenes team includes director of photography David A. Klein (“Zack and Miri Make a Porno,” “Chasing Amy”); production designer Michael Shaw (“August Rush,” “Boys Don’t Cry”); costume designer Juliet Polcsa (“The Sopranos,” “Jersey Girl”); and Academy Award®-nominated composer Harold Faltermeyer (the “Beverly Hills Cop” movies). As he frequently does, Smith serves as his own editor on the film.
Warner Bros. Pictures presents, A Marc Platt Production, “Cop Out,” to be distributed worldwide by Warner Bros. Pictures, a Warner Bros. Entertainment Company. The film is scheduled for release on February 26, 2010.
COP OUT poster is default cheesy
Jan 15
Show me this poster for Cop Out on any other day, without any knowledge that Kevin Smith was the director, and I would never believe that Silent Bob himself was the one behind it. For the first time in his film career, Kevin Smith has directed a film that he did not also write. The result is Cop Out, starring Bruce Willis and Tracey Morgan as two bumbling police officers in a buddy cop-film formerly titled A Couple of Dicks.
The poster (via IGN) is nothing surprising. I’m not exactly sure how you spruce up a poster for a buddy-cop film, but this one doesn’t pull any favours. Keeping it safe and playing to an unsuspecting market is the aim of the game here. Everything is so damn cheesy and default, right down to the smoke coming from Willis’ pistol. It completely gives up with the tag. How the fuck is “Rock out with your glock out” going to make entice people to invest in a ticket? Still, I wonder how many will go see it without realising Kevin Smith is behind the wheel (and if that changes anything)?
I sincerely hope and wish it to be a box office success for him — Lord knows he deserves a #1 flick, even if just for being an all-round down-to-earth guy. One might not like his films, but no-one can deny the man himself is worth every chuckle. YouTube his huge ass if you haven’t already and listen to the man speak about the industry.
Like many from my generation, I found it easy to look up to Kevin Smith after independent breakouts like Clerks (1994) and Chasing Amy (1997). Hell, even Mallrats (1995) has a special place in the hearts of fans of the View Askew universe. As a 16-year-old aspiring to one day make my own films, Kevin Smith was definitely one to be aware of and respect. The story about how he got Clerks made is almost as good as the film itself.
Now it seems Kevin Smith’s career is at a crossroads — and he openly talks about it on his podcast and twitter network. After the box-office failure of Zack & Miri Make A Porno (2008) (or, just Zack & Miri in some territories) he decided to direct for a studio for the first time (Warner Brothers) and see how things pan out from there. Maybe he continues to just direct? Maybe this changes pace for him and he can expand on his written projects? Or maybe it completely flops and he’s back to square one?
I hate to judge a movie by its poster — but that is the name of the game here. Might just have to hope that word-of-mouth gets Cop Out over the line.
The 7 worst films based on TV shows
Jan 10
With the upcoming release of The A-Team and the recent arrival of its trailer online, I thought it might be timely to take a look back at films that were adapted from classic television programmes but didn’t do the original show justice.
Okay, one could easily argue that none of the films based on television shows do the original counterparts justice– but of all those films (and there are many!), I find these to be the worst offenders:
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#7 – The Flintsones (1994)
This makes so much sense, right? I mean, the cartoon was a huge 60s animated sitcom hit, and the 90′s were just starving for conceptual advances in the real of television on the cinema screen (wasn’t it??). The casting of John Goodman as Fred Flintstone was pretty clever, as was Rick Moranis as Barney Rubble. But the idea was never going to completely translate well. Even as a kid I found it boring. Still, they squeezed out a sequel in another attempt to strike gold. Calling it ’Viva Rock Vegas‘ was probably not the best idea, though.
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#6 – Wild, Wild West (1999)
Not even box-office-sure-thing Will Smith himself could save this monumental pile of rubbish co-starring Kevin Kline the gorgeous Salma Hayek. Okay I must admit that I didn’t even realise Wild, Wild West was a classic 60s television show when this film was released – which goes to show how remaking old TV shows can sneak up on a generation of filmmgoers who don’t know any different. In this case, they could have gone with a completely different title, plot and characters and probably come up with a better result. Writer/Director/Geek Kevin Smith talks about the producer of this movie (Jon Peters) when he almost wrote a Superman reboot screenplay back in the mid-90s. If you have the time, check it out on YouTube and you’ll come to realise how some movies are destined to bomb from the very early stages.
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#5 – Inspector Gadget (1999)
Poor Matthew Broderick. I probably would have signed on for the paycheck, too — but damn I bet he wishes he could wipe this one from his resume. I watched Inspector Gadget every damn day as a kid. Thankfully by the time they tried to shoot this one past me I knew better. I wasn’t interested in the slightest. At the time it was geared toward kids who had no idea who Inspector Gadget was. Those who watched him were into their twenties and a live-action kids flick adaptation just wouldn’t stick. Didn’t stop ‘em making an even worse sequel, though.
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#4 - Scooby Doo (2002)
I’ll admit to you straight away that I thoroughly enjoyed Sarah Michelle Gellar’s outfit in this lacklustre film. I had to screen it several times when I worked at a cinema and without a doubt she was the only worthwhiel thing projecting onto that screen. Not even Freddie Prinze Jr. or ‘that guy from Scream‘ Matthew Lillard could get through it unscathed. The kids absolutely loved this, though– and why wouldn’t they? The silly CGI animated dog, the campy comedy– it’s all there just for them. Just don’t tell any actual fans of the Scooby-Doo television cartoon that it exists and all will remain well. It profited enough for a horrendous sequel in 2004 and there’s talk of another possibly beginning production in 2010.
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#3 – Bewitched (2005)
I can just imagine the call to Nicole Kidman: “Can you wriggle your nose? Did you watched Bewitched? Great, you’re in!”. Producers were likely hoping this would be a ‘hit’ on Will Ferrell’s very hit and miss history of films. Unfortunately not even the premise that they weren’t actually remaking it — more telling a story about Bewitched – couldn’t save it from being just plain wrong and unfortunately predictable. Audiences and critics gave it a hiding.
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#2 – Dukes of Hazzard (2006)
There was only one good reason to watch the Dukes of Hazzard film adaptation but not even that (or those) made it worthwhile. Everything about this sorry attempt at a refreshing take on a classic TV show was damn excruciating. Let’s just leave it at that, can we?
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#1 – Lost In Space (1998)
Take a reasonably well-know television star and cast him in a film that is an adaptation of an older television show from the 60s. “Danger!, Danger!” Poor Matty LeBlanc probably thought this would help seriously launch (pardon the pun) his film career. He had a pretty solid six more years full-time playing Joey on Friends after this film. Then his own spinoff sitcom Joey. He did make appearances in both Charlie’s Angels film adaptations, though. I guess the guy was always destined for TV. Probably a lesson for everyone in that. The Lost In Space film took what the original TV show did and completely flipped it, removing the campy sets and cheap costumes and ramping things up big-budget-style with kickass CGI effects and an (attempt at) a dark, gritty plot. It probably sounded good on paper, but unfortunately the outcome was abysmal. Considering the fact that this might have worked as a science-fiction film unto itself yet attempted to ride on the name of Lost In Space without any real foundation, this was an embarrassing misfire.
Froley’s Top 5 of 2009
Jan 01
Just kidding, New Moon is not only not in my top 5, it is one of the worst movies of all time. But now that I’ve got your attention, let’s look at 5 movies that were actually worthwhile in the otherwise weak cinematical year that was 2009. Bear in mind that up until December I wasn’t reviewing everything I saw, and I generally didn’t go out of my way to catch smaller or more obscure films, so these top 5 are culled from the three-dozen-odd mainstream films I saw over the course of the year (beginning with Yes Man in January and finishing with Sherlock Holmes this week). There were a lot of stinkers, quite a few that were just ‘meh,’ and a very few that were actually good. So without further ado, here are 5 of my favourite 09 films.
5 – Zombieland (78/100)
Fresh, funny, and frightening in equal measure, Zombieland was the quasi-original kick in the arse Hollywood needed so desperately in a year dominated by sequels, reboots, reimaginings, reinvisionings, reinventions, etc., etc. A sharp script, good characters, great performances, some truly wicked special effects, and a kind of fanciful charm boosted this flick head and shoulders above its competition. Undeniable fun.
4 – District 9
The trailer for District 9 — that first teaser where they interview the alien but you can’t understand what it’s saying — was amazing. It was so amazing, in fact, that it overshadowed the film itself, which failed to deliver on this uniquely intellectual and chilling premise, instead settling for a routine actioner set in a unique location with some great and memorable characters. Wikus’ reluctant journey into becoming an alien mirrors that of Jake Sully‘s, but is infinitely more complex, dichotomous and challenging than the cookie-cutter morality James Cameron forces us to swallow. District 9 had enough original action scenes and intellectual goings-on to elevate it to Top 5 status, but it isn’t exactly a classic of the genre.
3 – Sherlock Holmes (83/100)
A surprise late-contender for a Top 5 spot, Guy Ritchie’s rough-and-tumble, anachronistic, misanthropic, utterly compelling take on the old Sherlock Holmes tales earns a spot for the wonderful dialogue, top-notch performances, technically flawless script and virtuoso action scenes underpinning the film. In this case the trailer does the film an injustice, promising eye-rolling one-liners and cheap sex appeal, when in the fact the flim delivers at least partially on the kind of intellect, wit, charm and mystery you’d expect from the master sleuth. Bravo old chap.
2 – Moon
I went into Moon cold, with only a few positive words from critics and a brief synopsis enough to lure me all the way to the other side of the city to see it. I didn’t watch a single trailer, didn’t clap eyes on a single poster — like I said, cold. That’s the way you need to see the film, because the way it masterfully unfolds and subtly seeps into your brain is unique to a first-viewing. I definitely want to see it again, and will probably be more satisfied for the second viewing, but the initial confusion / comprehension / resignation stages induced by the film’s masterful structure, setting and — most importantly — performance is something you can’t replicate. If you haven’t seen Moon, see it.
1 – Star Trek (88/100)
How the hell did this blockbuster schmaltz end up at number 1? you ask. Because it’s a damn good film, I reply. Sure it’s embarrassing that a hyperactive Star Wars / Star Trek hybrid could take the number one spot, especially over smaller, darker films like District 9 and Moon, but whereas those films are more personal explorations of intelligent sci-fi ideas, Star Trek blasts full throttle out of the optimistic, idyllic, holistic vision future prescribed by series creator Gene Roddenberry, and gives us a future to feel good about. We aren’t just dealing with grim, isolated main characters here, we have a whole ensemble, and rather than tackling a single aspect of the future and technology, we get a more holistic approach, complete with black holes, time travel, space travel, space combat, alien lovin’, and so on. The fact that Star Trek successfully balances all those disparate elements elevates it above the more focused narratives of the aforementioned films, and lands it squarely on the number one spot. That, and the fact that I didn’t enjoy a film this year quite as much as I did Star Trek, and that kind of subjectivity is all that really counts when it comes to film, right?
Right, time for a few quick honourable mentions: Watchmen blew me away in Imax back in March, and gave me so much food for thought (as well as stunning imagery and a perfect soundtrack) that it was in my Top 5 until I saw Sherlock Holmes. Observe And Report gave me a few conflicted chuckles, as well as containing the single best use of the Pixies’ “Where Is My Mind” (take that, Fight Club) in any film, ever. Capitalism: A Love Story was trademark Moore — incendiary, biased, manipulative, terrifying, enlightening, but disappointingly uplifting. As good as the doco was, it was half an hour too long and used a few too many hypocritical elements to make its points (Catholic priests decrying materialistic greed? Please!). Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs surprised in its comedy and honesty, and was likewise a Top 5 contender until I remembered how awesome Moon and District 9 were. And finally, 500 Days Of Summer was actually pretty good; I was worried the soundtrack would be crammed full of indie bullshit, but it was actually quite respectful and the script was original enough to keep me thoroughly entertained, even when the lovers’ actions stopped making sense.
There were quite a few disappointingly average film this year, like Avatar, Slumdog Millionaire, Gran Torino, and Zack And Miri Make A Porno (all films by masters of the craft, all falling into the ‘merely good’ category); G.I. Joe seemed fun and coherent in direct comparison to Transformers 2; Public Enemies mixed dreadful casting with atrocious artistic choices and a predictable-as-hell script to come out as purely ho-hum; Bruno failed to resonate like Borat; Harry Potter 6 represented a slip in the already mediocre quality of the series; I Love You Man and The Hangover were throwaway late-noughties quote-fests with little real originality or wit; I’m gonna put Inglourious Basterds in this category because I liked it about as much as I disliked it; I think I’ll be generous and put Surrogates in here as well; and 2012 can rub shoulders with these films as well (come to think about it, I had just as much, if not more, fun watching 2012 as I did Avatar and G.I. Joe. Huh).
And then there were the actively bad films — Yes Man, Ghost Town, Friday The 13th, Terminator Salvation, Transformers 2, X-Men Origins: Wolverine, The Taking Of Pelham 1 2 3, The Final Destination, Paranormal Activity and, of course, New Moon. I never want to see any of these films ever again in my entire life, but I have a sneaking suspicion I’ll end up having to watch Transformers again for a full vitriolic review at some point, but we’ll see how we go.
So, an average year at the multiplex, with a few sparkling diamonds in the rough excrement of Hollywood’s dross machine. Like I said, I didn’t see every film this year, and I’m sure if The Hurt Locker had been released in this country in a timely fashion I would’ve seen and loved it already. What do you think — was 2009 a bad year for movies? If you cite Transformers 2 and New Moon as evidence against this, I might suffer a complete failure of faith in humanity, but I guess that’s your opinion, or whatever. Sigh. Stay tuned for Captain Howdy’s picks at the weekend.
See you all next year!
OPINIONS COUNT